<< 2009-12-26 12:49 p.m. >>



I've been reading old diaries today. I suddenly feel very selfish.

It used to be that when someone was sad everyone would make something for them and try SO HARD to cheer them up. And it's no one's fault honestly, it's just that isn't the case anymore.

It has something to do with me listening to Jets to Brazil.

This is such a different stage of my life. I feel so old in so many ways. I go to bed so early. I never want to stay up late. Hell, at Brent's we stayed until 1AM and that was sooooooooooo late for me, it was incredible. I never really do anything fun anymore, because I always have to plan plan plan plan plan. I don't know. It is interesting I guess.

I miss when I could just call someone up and be like, come over. And it would happen.

Or when people showed up at my door with milkshakes.

And I was thinking the other day of one of the top moments I've felt the most loved and I want to go back there so bad sometimes.

When you were being horrible but I had two boys who loved me more than the world and God, you could tell they'd both do anything for me. And waffle house constantly and playgrounds, hotel playgrounds, and sitting at the track and sitting outside the hotel and then me curling up on their bed and falling asleep. Best. Day. Ever. I was so incredibly happy. I knew that I had what I really needed in my life.

I really wish I still had such strong connections with certain people. But I do understand it. Things change. Things are different. And it will be impossible to truly ever regain that.

But I am at a good place, I really am. :) I just enjoy looking back.



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